The only thing masturbating should do is desensitize you.

dildos come in a million shapes and sizes, get her first one about the same size as you and go from there

[QUOTE=LatinLover;269560][COLOR="blue">Hi All

I been with a girl for 10 yrs now and some how the dildo came up in our conversation. She wants one for her b-day and i have a couple of concerns before i buy her one. [/COLOR]

Before we discuss concerns, I wish to suggest that the two of you begin with a small diameter toy, first.

[COLOR="blue">I really want to see her give me oral sex wile i jam her with a nice dildo (my fantasy)[/COLOR]

"Jam her" where? Anus, Vagina, both?

In a word, absolutely, positively, indubitably NO. Never ever "jam" her or anybody else with a nice dildo!, finger, or any other object. Modify the fantasy. The anus is a delicate orifice and must be treated with extreme care. Please read this article for correct how-to information:

"Playing Ball" and How To Tips for Prostate Massage
This is also an excellent tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal stimulation as well as play.

Use plenty of lubricant!

As for using a dildo or finger within her vagina, do so gently. As with thrusting, once in side, you can increase the speed and intensity if so desired. Make certain that there is plenty of lubrication, both natural and/or from a bottle.

[COLOR="blue">however i have heard that once a woman has an orgasm with a dildo she will never be able to have an orgasm with a real pennis.
Is this true ? [/COLOR]

First, stimulation is stimulation, regardless of what instigates it. A whiff of air, a light gently brushing of the lips or fingers on her body or erogenous zone, gliding the tip of your tongue on some sensitive spot, whispering sweet nothings, in her ear. All and more can be stimulating.

Second, if you plan to use a finger or dildo anally, know that she will not likely experience an orgasm from such actions; however, because the outside of the anus and just inside are richly endowed with sensitive nerve endings, gently yet firmly rubbing these areas when she has become very aroused will more often than not greatly intensify her orgasm(s).

Third, if you use a dildo, finger, or other toy inside the vagina, and massage sensitive areas like the G-spot or Fornex, it is the how, not the what, that is important. The vaginal vault is devoid of nerve endings so do not expect her to climax just from thrusting a toy or penis alone. If you want to use a dildo to massage the G-spot for example, this spongy area cannot determine whether the massage is from a finger, bottle with a long neck, toy, etc. So, what you heard about a dildo being the be all end all of making for a great climax, maybe, but it is not the only method.

[COLOR="blue">Also will she like the dildo more then me ?
(Am afraid that my pennis wont be an interest to her anymore)[/COLOR]

There are dildos and there are dildos. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, styles, and, materials. Who can say. Much has to do with technique and timing and arousal level. Much depends upon mood.

FEAR NOT. A dildo/toy/finger is an accessory item for pleasure; these are NO substitutes for the real deal. Get it?

[COLOR="blue">Am almost 6 inches and about 1 1/2" in thickness [/COLOR]

Here is another article for you to read:

For Boys Only- A Matter of Size (Regarding your penis)
[COLOR="blue">

There is quite a few times when she doesn't cum unless shes on top of me and she acts like she wants more. [/COLOR]

Perhaps she does. Here are two facts the two of you should know and understand: Very few sexual positions place a woman's pieces - parts in close constant contact with a man's pubic mound sufficient to generate the necessary friction she requires. (The Woman Superior/Cowgirl position does.) What a knowledgeable, skilled, caring, lover should do is to reach around and finger her clitoris in addition.

Second, women can and often do enjoy many more orgasms than a man, if it is her desire. What etiquette recommends is that we help her to enjoy the first orgasm, and the last if it is her wish. In between you and she can have as many orgasms as desired.

Third, penetration and stroking should begin only when invited inside, and, only when both of you have been brought to the brink of a climax from all the fooling around and making out that comes beforehand. Devote no less than half an hour to kissing and caressing, more if desired and within reason. Women require this much preparation, men benefit from the time, also.

[COLOR="blue">Maybe am abet too fast when i bust. Shes sooo hot that i get turned on as soon as we start foreplay and sometimes i need to tell her to stop for a bet but after a good 10-15 min of foreplay we get it on. I dont recall her ever saying that she camed other then her on top. Is this normal ?[/COLOR]

Asked and answered, above.

As for climaxing too quickly, there is a condition called "Premature Ejaculation" in which a man will often climax during insertion, the return stroke, or within the first few. If a climax occurs later, this is simply a matter of an untimely event. Either way, the fix is the same. Look for the article listed in the Index that discusses the matter.

[COLOR="blue">Also i have to admit that i jerk off allot at least ones a day if am not with her and when we have sex i cum more quickly but other days i take abet longer. Could that have an impact as to why i cum faster ? Wish allot of times i wish i would take just abet longer to maybe see her cum.[/COLOR]

There is another article listed in the Index that offers three fixes for this: the squeeze technique, pausing, and, an exercise the two of you can learn.

The more times a guy masturbates in a day, the more difficult each subsequent one is to trigger, and, each one will have less and less output. It can take up to 48 hours of abstinence to fully recharge and reset your sensitivity.

[COLOR="Blue">At the end of the day she says we have great sex and shes happy but i don't know, maybe shes just lying to make me feel better i don't know....[/COLOR]

OK, now here is an important life lesson: Believe what she is telling you unless and until you have evidence to the contrary. If you do not have trust, you have a very shaky relationship.

[COLOR="Blue">Anyways Thank you all really apreciate it!!![/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page, you will find even more information.

I recommend that the two of you read each and every article listed in the Index, discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows.

I hope this is of help.

-doc

[QUOTE=pcp71;269567]dildos come in a million shapes and sizes, get her first one about the same size as you and go from there[/QUOTE]

I disagree. Please read my reply, above.

-doc

My girlfriend has one.

I think its a great accessory, The dancingDoc pretty much nailed it.
The no sub for the real deal.
I used to think she'd prefer the Dildo over me, and I couldn't be more wrong.
Our sex life got better with it, because we could implement it into our sex-life.
From time to time I use it on her, as this got me over my fear of being replaced (seems funny to look back at it) x3.

I've never used it whilst preforming over things as were new the sex toys and don't want to rush into the deep end =]

Have fun

- Jordan

Welcome to the board, I hope you find useful information here.

The thing that probably stands out the most with your post is that you've been with the same person for TEN YEARS, but still have significant confidence and communication issues. I highly recommend that the two of you read all of the stickies and then revisit your own question with new insight and knowledge.

[QUOTE=LatinLover;269560]Hi All

I been with a girl for 10 yrs now and some how the dildo came up in our conversation. She wants one for her b-day and i have a couple of concerns before i buy her one. I really want to see her give me oral sex wile i jam her with a nice dildo (my fantasy) however i have heard that once a woman has an orgasm with a dildo she will never be able to have an orgasm with a real pennis.
Is this true ?
[/QUOTE]

First of all, you shouldn't worry. She's starting to express her fantasies to you (she wants a dildo). You have fantasies too from the sounds of it -- and if she's asking for a dildo you should feel free to make your own requests even if they're naughtier than you would assume she'd want.

And NO -- dildos do not make it so a woman cannot have an orgasm with a penis.

[QUOTE=LatinLover;269560]Also will she like the dildo more then me ?
(Am afraid that my pennis wont be an interest to her anymore)

Am almost 6 inches and about 1 1/2" in thickness
[/QUOTE]

I'm aware of several instances when a woman enjoys the novelty of a new sex toy and immediately gets lots of use out of it, but it is no replacement for the real thing. Your size isn't small, and it shouldn't be a problem anyways (most of a woman's nerves are in the one inch depth at the entrance of the vagina.

[QUOTE=LatinLover;269560]
There is quite a few times when she doesn't cum unless shes on top of me and she acts like she wants more. Maybe am abet too fast when i bust. Shes sooo hot that i get turned on as soon as we start foreplay and sometimes i need to tell her to stop for a bet but after a good 10-15 min of foreplay we get it on. I dont recall her ever saying that she camed other then her on top. Is this normal ?
[/QUOTE]

Now we're getting to the meat of the issue. You come too quickly and she often doesn't have orgasms during sex? That's horrible. Any woman should easily have an orgasm with oral sex, why don't you try that more often?

The truth is -- many women don't always have an orgasm during normal sex. Some women actually never have an orgasm during normal sex. You make up for it with oral sex before hand, or sex toys, or whatever it takes to get her an orgasm. The fact that she wants a dildo to help her have one every time is perfectly normal.

Regarding you coming too quickly, Fleshlight has a trainer that helps prevent premature ejaculation. It gets your body more used to how nice sex feels, that over time you are able to last longer in bed. If she's getting a dildo you should be entitled to a Fleshlight (great for if she's on her period too btw). BTW use the code "STAMINA" at that link it gives you 10% off.

It sounds like she is very not repressed sexually. That's a great thing for you. Just wipe the "taboo" out of your mind, if she wants it give it a try and don't feel as though it is a rejection. (A rejection would be if she went out and found another guy's cock instead of a dildo).