If he doesn't want to do it, he doesn't have to... its not like you are putting a gun to his head, he volunteered! If its a fantasty of yours, and he is willing to set it up, go for it. You may want to have something on backup to fullfill one of his fantasies in case he gets weirded out...

Have fun

Lucky one you!
As you said you are "not in serious relationship" i think you shouldn´t need to worry for anything.He said he would do it,so why not to use it?!
And especialy you should not worry what other ppl will say.You have chance to get your phantasy come true so go for it!
And would be good if you could tell the expirience to us,poor ones!

I would feel very uncomfortable if my g/f asked me that she wants to have a 3some with me and another man. I would feel like maybe i'm not doing enough to satisfy her needs.
Frankly, it would break our relationship.
But that's just me and my g/f, if i told her that i want a 3some with a her and another female, she'll kick my ass and dumped me too. That's just the way we are, and it does not seem that is your case, since your b/f seems to be ok with it. I'll say go for it!

Well the experience will certainly please your f***buddy and his friend, but what is in it for you?

*Jeopardy Theme*

For once I agree with you, Pink Pony. Well, at least partly. I think the only ways I could handle a three-way with two men would be if one or both of them was only interested in pleasing me rather than receiving pleasure, or if both men were bisexual and could help please each other. I don't like the idea of having to please two men at once, especially if it would mean using more than one orifice at the same time. However, since Vixen was the one who introduced the idea to her guy, I would guess that she does see something in it for her.

Vixen, are you more worried about what this would do to your relationship or to your reputation? In terms of your relationship, you are taking a risk, but it is not a huge risk. If you aren't a serious couple he probably isn't overly posessive of you, and is not likely to get jealous. As for your reputation...I honestly don't know. That depends a lot on what kinds of people you have for friends.

I'm a bit surprised by some of the other responses to your post. If you are not in a committed relationship, practice safe sex, and trust your lover's taste in friends, then by all means go for it.

Exploring your sexuality, desires, fantasies are a healthy thing in moderation. As far as your "Reputation" goes, thats something you'll have to deal with between yourself and your lover and potential 3rd. Trust and respect is something you should both expect and foster in such situations!

Finally, YOU be in control of the situation. You determine the time and place and circumstance. A drunken three-way won't be half as fun as something you've planned out!

Just play safe!

Well, there was really only one "slam"; I think girlygirl was just concerned as to what you would get out of it. Everyone else also seems supportive of your desire to express yourself sexually in whatever way you are comfortable with.

To save repitition, basically I agree with Rawbob's answer.

If I were your guy in the relationship you described, I would consider your request. I wouldn't think anything the worse of you afterwards, because I did agree to it too. I would expect however that you would then be open to fulfilling a fantasy I might have (such as a 3 some with another girl).

You two could be celebrating your twelfth anniversary, it doesn't matter. The question remains the same, what will you get out of a threesome? He will surely enjoy it and his friend will enjoy it but what are you going to be? The monkey in the middle?

"The man I am with, we have an odd relationship, we aren't a serious couple"

"there is a problem with me trusting him due to a past incident"

Well, hello, you are answering your own question. A relationship is nothing without trust. If you have trouble trusting a man who is barely around because of a "past incident"  and the both of you are not a serious couple, then why would you do something that may compromise your position? You are always talking about pleasing him. It almost seems like your mission is to put yourself in any compromising situation to please your man. You don't even seem happy unless you please this man, who you don't even trust when he goes away on business trips ... (edited by moderator) ... you are being played like a keyboard at a Flock of Seagulls concert in '85.

(The final part of this post was removed by the moderator to remove personal sarcastic and derogatory remarks about another Member. It would be appreciated if future posts would keep this in mind. Thank you - the moderator.)

See with me I dont think I would ever have a threesome, I want to have a threesome with me, my b/f and antoher girl but I just cant do that because I couldnt see him with antoher girl. I dont think i would like it if there was another guy there. but if that is what you both want and you dont have a committed relationship then i think you should go for it.

I've done it. I wouldnt suggest it.
But different strokes for different folks.
It can breed too much insecurity in some.

For me, i like 3somes with visitors from out of town. There's no "lingering" effects. You meet, chat, if you click, you move on to the fun, if not, he/she gets kicked to the curb, no harm no foul!

What do you get out of a 3some? WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT! Bottom line is, if you're a couple (dating/married/partnered) and only ONE wants a 3way, it's going to be a tough time - and better left a fantasy.

If you're both up for it, then you just have to be prepared to go for it 100%. No matter if you're a guy or gal, you have to be prepared to see your lover with your partner - and all the potential comparisons that go with it.

For me, both when i was married, i LOVED seeing my wife with aother person. It gave me a new perspective on what turned her on by seeing what he/she did differently than me. (oh, and we got divorced because my job required a lot of travel and relocation and she didn't want to move anymore so she left me).

As a single guy in a long-term relationship, the occational 3way adds a wonderful boost to our sex life - and thats ALL it is - sex! No picking out china patterns, no dinner or dating after, just recreational sex!

It is a terrible shame when a person comes to the Board seeking information and open-minded feedback, to leave feeling attacked and "slammed".

To those responsible - I remind you, it is possible to give constructive feedback and input, and to not be judgemental or derogatory - most of our Members do this admirably all the time! If a Member cannot do this, then they should say nothing!

I hope Vixen will re-consider her decision to leave ...

Let this be a lesson to us all!

Vixon, I'm with the mod. You've been a great member and I'd hate to see you leave over this.

My take on your topic is that unless you and your b/f were seriously interested in joining the swinging lifestyle, as an added dimension of your relationship, you should drop the subject. Clearly, your relationship is not as strong as it used to be and only the strongest of bonds could sustain the relationship if you experimented in a 3-way. Trust is obviously another concern with your b/f, and I would indeed be concerned about what might be said if your relationship fails.

Sounds like both your heart and your brain are saying this is not a good thing for you, so don't try to sway them.

Good luck and please stick around the forum-

Wow, are we at the pearly gates already?
No should be judged for seeking advise from their peers.
I havent been a member of this board long but I like it and am glad that the moderators keep such a good eyes on the posts.
Allowing the mature people to answer without judgement or ridicule.
I am sorry that that had happened and I hope you will not leave the board.

You shouldn't leave on my account.

All Members - please see my post on Forum Fights

Vixen, I am not sure if I am one of the people you were referring to, but I apologise if my post came across as a slam.  I was expressing how I personally would feel about having a three-way with two men. I honestly have no objection to other people doing this.  I should have made this more clear in my original post.

It seems the mood of this thread has changed considerably since the first post, but I have a comment on it. Having a threesome with his friend would be a bigger mistake then having one with an out of town stranger. I personally am not in favor of threesomes, but I can see how it would work for some couples. Let me ask you this: assuming the threesome takes place, the next time your boyfriend is out of town, would it be ok with him if his friend stopped by to visit with you? I think that would make it weird for me. Think about it, I fear it could ruin most relationships.

I think that most people think that having a threesome would be fun and exciting. The drawback is how everyone feels the next day. Some people can do it and be ok with the thoughts later, and some couples break up because of it. I guess the question to ask yourself is how will you feel the morning after, or even watching your man with the other girl. I have never been in a relationship with a man who was comfortable with the thought of watching me with another man. For me, personally, I think there would be consequences, and I am not willing to risk it.

Personally, i'd be rater uncomfortable in his posistion

1- It gives the impression you cant satisfy her alone

2-The other guy thing is someing I'm a bit hesitant myself...

3- What might happen? howwould effect the relationship? the frienddship?

i've had a couple 3somes, and a 4some too (which i dont recommend you do with 3 guys and you being the only chick...too much dick, lol), my personal opinion is you shouldnt plan for them, its not nearly as much fun if you do. they should be spur of the moment, and i dont think i'd do it if i were in any relationship i wished to keep. BUT if its all in fun with friends or whoever, well then thats a different story. they're definately fun, but thats all they are. they're not really gratifying or life-changing, they're just a fun experience. and you have to have a sense of humour, i think. i also think you have to have the ability to see that person and not be uncomfortable about having had sex with them, thats where the sense of humour comes in. i still hang out with a majority of people i've had sex with, we joke about it every once in a while but otherwise dont even mention it. and i know the offers always there for another go.

I agree that threesomes are fun OUTSIDE of a relationship. Being in a relationship changes everything.

do it hunny hubby and i do 3 somes 2 - 3 times a mounth its so good it started 10 yrs ago with his best friend was so good both touching feeling then making love was so hot and im 51 now still doing it

3some, 4somes, more-somes are GREAT!!! And there is no such thing as too many men!! LOL

Any group sex requires a change of attitude! First: this is NOT love. This is lust - pure and simple lust and you have to be okay with that. If you and your relationship partner aren't okay with adult play then you should go back to playing bridge instead. Jealousy on anyone's part will destroy not only the sexual interlude but also the relationship - IF YOU LET IT. Participation in any group sex is purely optional but remember jealousy is NOT a given and it is never desirable even if you aren't enjoying group sex.

Next: WOMEN RULE. She makes the ultimate no go/go decision. She does not have to explain, apologise, or justify her decision. This is based upon facts: She can get a man easier than he can get a woman. If there is more than one woman present, and some guy irritates one woman, he has irritated all women and no one's getting any after that. So men, mind your manners.

The ability to remain a couple while participating in group sex shows you have the ultimate trust in your partner and in the love between you two.

hey glor - ^5

go for it i would gladly join u

[QUOTE=sexykitty;99216]I agree that threesomes are fun OUTSIDE of a relationship. Being in a relationship changes everything.[/QUOTE]

Kitty, I have to disagree about the relationship part of your comment. IMHO!

My husband can and does satisfy me. Ok, that is out of the way.

We do mainly MFM. I have also done a few MFMM (only twice) and all are mind blowing. Hubby is there for all of them, as we only play together.

A few facts to consider. You have to have a VERY strong marriage or relationship. this is not for the faint of heart. You two have to really talk about this, and not in bed. Talk about it over coffee at dunkin donuts. I mean by that you have to talk about this in the light of day, where all the players know exactly what is wanted. And then think about it again

Hubby loves to watch me pleased and I love the fact he is so secure in what he can do to and for me that I can let go. I always go home with him.

Finally the only thing I would disagree with the original poster is using friends for this. When playing moves on, and these things do as you move on to someone else, it can get ugly. We would never play with vanilla friends. We have a neighbor I would love to have him fuck my brains out. His wife says he is great in bed. But we would NEVER play like that. Too much drama afterward.

And I am really going to get flamed here.... We prefer married men. I am not a home wrecker but if the other husband is looking to play, I did not break up something that is already broken. Also, married men tend to have far less drama, understand that this is only for fun (especially when they know my husband will also be there and playing), and never pester you (like single males -- no offense to all the single guys) to meet all the time.

Oh, and hubby is totally st8.

My two cents.

Salli

Hi, Sallie, nice to see more Lifestyle people here.

WIITHIN or OUTSIDE of a relationship - swinging is GREAT FUN!

And if you make friends within the Lifestyle community, you can do friends but leave your 'vanilla' friends alone. Only those who approach you should be invited to hang-out (but not to play).

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;245570]Hi, Sallie, nice to see more Lifestyle people here.

WIITHIN or OUTSIDE of a relationship - swinging is GREAT FUN!

And if you make friends within the Lifestyle community, you can do friends but leave your 'vanilla' friends alone. Only those who approach you should be invited to hang-out (but not to play).[/QUOTE]

People in the lifestyle originally told us at some point we would have less and less in common with our "vanilla" friends. Although that is not entirely true, we have, over the last few years, spent more time with our lifestyle (LS) friends and less with our "vanilla" friends.

That is not to say we play with these LS friends but they tend to have less drama, less demanding, are more outgoing (like we have been our entire lives) and just more fun.

About mixing LS and vanilla's, at least in our circle of friends, I do not think so. We are high profile people in our community so we do not advertise our "likes." I think we would lose a number of our vanilla friends if the word got out. Too bad for them!

Salli

I don't actually have many friends who aren't in some way "Lifestyle".
I agree that Lifestyle friends are much less work than vanilla people - more relaxed and much more comfortable in their skins and in their relationships.

They have faced their demons and stomped said demons into the ground!