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I'm glad this is being brought up because it affects a lot of women. On the other hand, your story is like my worst nightmare. I can't imagine what you're dealing with. I think there are only 2 options. He's not going to stop wanting anal sex, even if he accepts that you don't want to. But the pressure and knowing your partner is missing out on something they want to do can be too much. You need to both either go to a doctor, and learn to deal with that pressure or you need to leave him. The problem won't go away by ignoring it, and you're only going to waste more of your time just waiting for it to stop. I don't know much about the business of divorce, but I think a man telling you that he never wants anal and then pressuring you only after you've been married for several years should be grounds for fraud. It's like emotional blackmail. It's not fair to wait several years until that person is in love with you and heavily attached and invested in the relationship to drop that bomb. You deserve better.
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