[Mr.Curtis]

Hello sex info community,

I write to you because a while ago I had a problem with girl I went on a date with and did my best to resolve it with the advice given to my friends at the time. However, my group of friends are much younger than me, so I'm doubting that I received good guidance. Looking back on the experience I wonder if there was anything I could have done differently. Perhaps someone of this community has better wisdom.

[for the sake of privacy the names I write are not the indiviudal(s)' real name(s)]

While I was in college, a friend named Rick recommended that I ask out this girl Claire on a date. She is a petite blond girl who is cute and timid. I've seen her around before, but we've never talked. My friend said though that she is interested in a lot of the things I'm into; I rationalized that I should at least go out on a date and see what kind of girl she is. With his encouragement I asked her out to the upcoming dance, which was on the upcoming Friday night- she said yes.

The date overall was a great success. We had fun at the dance, walked to my apartment where we cuddled and talked. Later in the night we had sex, including a good deal of foreplay. Afterwards I noticed it was really late, so I suggested I walk her home. I told her I had a great time tonight and would like to go out again in the near future; She agreed as well. I kissed her good night and walked home.

I waited till the start of the following week to call her cell phone, but I recieved no answer. Neither did she seem to have any voicemail option. I figured she was busy with school so I waited till the end of the week to try calling again; same result. I put off trying to contact her again after that and occupied myself with my routine school work. The second weekend following the date I spent an evening with another girl, Amy and had sex. Prior (several months prior) to this, we were friends mutually agreed to have a sexual relationship; we weren't exclusive to one another nor were there any emotional attachments.

Sometime after this gossip about this broke out in which my friend approached me; He explained that Claire learned about it and was very upset. I sat down with Rick and other close friends and talked about it; I wanted their opinion about the matter and advice about what to do. They agreed that I was at fault; The thought I didn't put enough effort in trying to reach her and should've remained committed to this dating relationship. I objected that it was not any of her business until we agree to be an actual couple. Their answer to that is going on that date and having sex was the initiation of being a couple and an act of being committed.

After some painful effort to communicate to her (I dont have texting on my phone and apparently the only effective way to reach her is texting, so I texted her through Rick as a proxy- it was quite a inefficient way of communicating) I arranged a sitdown to talk to her face to face. I shared with her my point of view, asked for hers and listened to what she had to say. In the end I apologized for having hurt her feelings. We never dated again regrettably, but I thought that at least we made peace and moved on.

I'm getting the impression that really isn't the case. I'm quite alienated from anyone within her sphere of friends and a "sex chart" was posted at a club office room ( a club we're both affiliated with), which listed members' names and marked who had sex with whom. My name and Claire's were paired in the chart. Luckily the poster was pulled down promptly after; I wasn't the only one who found it distasteful.

With all this juvenile behavior now past, I can't help but feel that I should've done something. I feel like I've been wrongfully vilified and my talk with Claire didn't actually accomplish anything.

What do you think I should do, in regards to this and how to avoid this kind of dilemma in the future.