I am amazed that few new members look around the site before posting in order to learn what is on the site, and, how to use it. Both of your concerns have been addressed many many times in one form or another.
I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find even more information.
Kitty_kat69: Making love is not done by the numbers, i.e., do A, B, &, C, and D will result. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together.
It is not that mistakes happen, it is in how we recover and move on. When learning to ride a bike, did you ride down the sidewalk or driveway without wobbling and falling off? Same here. Having a good sense of humor about all this works wonders for timidness and lack of experience. Love and romance is serious business, however, you shouldn't take it so seriously that you do not enjoy yourself or become upset that things didn't quite go as planned. Get real! All of us want to be the best we can be, yet it is completely unrealistic to believe that this will happen by a wish and prayer.
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
ImpurePleasure: Both of you are correct. Each guy is different, however, my research ranks orgasmic intensity this way:
1.) Masturbation
2.) Hand job
{Vaginal intercourse)
3.) Oral
4.) "The Dynamic Duo" encompassing both a h/j and b/j together
Climaxes from vaginal stimulation tend to vary in intensity so these can move up and down the list by one number.
Male and female orgasms tend to be more intense when in the company of a partner with whom we have a strong emotional connection.
The probable reason your boyfriend is experiencing difficulty climaxing by hand is due to a lack of technique. Each of us masturbates in the same basic way for our particular gender, yet as we learn, we all settle on a method that is somewhat unique and individualistic. Without some coaching as explained in more than one article, along with verbal and non-verbal feedback, duplicating our partner's technique is chancy at best.
If he can masturbate, he can climax from your fingers. Helping him climax from both a h/j and b/j is the best most intense way for him to orgasm. Please go thru the articles for more on all this. I encourage the four of you and everybody else reading this thread to read each of the articles and to discuss what you have learned. Knowledge is empowering.
Teach each other, and learn together. All too often an inexperienced couple believe that talking or giving non-verbal feedback is somehow wrong. WRONG! Do not be like the blind leading the blind.
After the four of you have done some reading and discussing, please do not hesitate to ask questions.