[Rouge]

As an experienced practitioner of anal sex, I have this to say:

STOP! YOU ARE REWARDING HIM FOR IGNORING YOUR BOUNDARIES!

If you don't want it, even a tiny part of you, you will be in pain as your body will be tensed. HE is clearly ignoring your boundaries, and has no regard for your views on this topic. Guys can be curious (mine is ridiculously curious..), but they need to be taught that crossing your boundaries is a huge no.

I believe that you're telling yourself that you want anal, so that you can feel like this type of play has been your choice, but the truth is that you still dislike it very much. Never do something for someone else that will be bad for your sanity. Anal sex is something that many people don't enjoy, despite the amount of it displayed in porn and such, and if you aren't in a right frame of mind, or with a partner who actively listens to what you're saying, you can feel hugely degraded.

I won't even touch on techniques for proper anal, as I believe it would be horrible for you to try it.

Does your husband know that you were cutting yourself over it? If he does, I think it's time to find a new husband.