[Brandye]

The answer is not in the bedroom; it is in a counselor's office. You have each accumulated much baggage during the years of declining sex - each likely hoping for more. Discussion between the two of you may be helpful but it may also intensify the desire that the other take the more aggressive role. There are many techniques that a good therapist can offer. You are better off paying a few quid than groping around on your own.

And, eight weeks is plenty of recovery if there were no unusual circumstances. Most women are cleared to go after the six week check; many start earlier without clearance.