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Old 10-22-2009, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenLover View Post
Ok so I have recently encountered a situation that I find myself in... I was talking to a really good guy friend about my schooling, and the school by where he lives...has the program that I am looking for, and will transfer into many more major colleges in the state. The school I'm going to now dosn't,

To clarify, are you saying that the curriculum in your intended major will eventually be in other schools, perhaps one even closure than your friend's?

I have to take general classes and hope that they are good enough to transfer to a major college to compleate my degree.

Well, this is not new or unusual. There are lots of two year junior and community colleges around whose students then transfer into a four year college for the last two-three years. (I hope you will take an English class that includes spelling and composition and/or creative writing.)

He offered for me to live with him. I wouldn't have a problem as we both are vary open with our financial situations and how messy/clean we are.

You would be placing the wrong cart before the wrong horse. It is great that the two of you are able to discuss personal finances and tidy up after yourselves; however, I believe your living arrangements should strictly be platonic as in being a roommate. This means separate beds in separate rooms, with a separate shelf in the refrigerator. If you want to divide the cost for food, fine; or, keep those costs separate, also.

You really need time and the experience of living alone or with a roommate in order to learn how to be on your own and to develop skills necessary to become an autonomous adult.


It would work in pratcial scence.

I beg to differ with this, mainly because you do not yet know what you do not know; and secondly, you are romanticizing the arrangement with him.

But the thing is that we probably would share a bed (even if we had our own rooms and everything, we just love to cuddle when we sleep). Also it would have a huge possability of turning into something a lot more then what we have with eachother right now. Not saying that it's a bad thing, just saying the possabality is there...

I agree with EEK, take a teddy bear to bed with you, cuddle with your friend on the sofa. Once you have defined a relationship**, then, maybe a bed for two might work.

I asked him if he was sure because he is the type of person who will offer if he thinks it's what I want, or if it will make me happy. And I generally (for like 6 years) I have taken it upon myself to look out for what he wants and what would make him happy when it comes to anything to do with me and him because I know he will be looking to make me happy. So I told him to think about it, that we have until December to decide because that's when I'll need to regester for classes and what not for next semester.

** Although you have been friends for several years, you really only have a friendship. True, friendship is a requirement for a deeper relationship, however, sleeping together is not the way to get there. This is one reason for saying you are planning to place the wrong proverbial horse and cart together

Also I think my aunt and uncle are ready to have me out of the house, but as a broke college student I have like no where to go.

Are you planning to live rent free with your friend? What about the cost of food and other incidentals? LOOK FOR WORK, GET A JOB, BEGIN SAVING MONEY, AND PAY YOUR OWN WAY. This approach may take an extra year or two, and you'll be in good company because lots of college students take five or six years to complete a four year degree program.

Now, having said that, talk to your school counselor and also the administrative people at your next school and ask about financial aid programs and which ones you might qualifiy for.


They (my aunt and uncle) are recently retired and are learning about eachother all over again... I can stay here if I have to though, I just don't want to. My mom dosn't have the room for me at all, and my dad and I are vary uncapatable living partners in every way except the food.

So good idea or bad idea? I'm stuck on this one...
Talk with your aunt and uncle and discuss your situation and your plans. See what they are willing to do on your behalf and work out a plan if any. Similarly, talk to your friend and see what he is willing to do--or not. Thirdly, talk to the new school about student housing be it a dorm or as a roommate in someone's home. Many families living close to schools rent extra rooms to students. How able are your parents to help you financially, all or in part?

Lastly, as EEK stated, concentrate on your education, first. Second, have some fun along the way. Third, learn to become autonomous. Fourth, work on developing a relationship, last.

Last edited by dancingdoc2; 02-15-2010 at 04:21 PM.. Reason: Corrected my typos yet left the o/p's alone.
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