[Yariome]

Ok, so I havn't been on here in forever so i'll give you the details. Me and my girl split up about a month or so ago, because she couldn't handle it anymore, said the I want to be your friend thing, and hopes we can get back together SOMEDAY, but not with the person I am. I didn't understand it of course, was hurt, pissed ect ect. To say the least when I looked over the last five years with my ex girlfriend, I discust myself in the person I became. I never used to be this way, used to be a very confident person, ect ect.

I realize my mistakes, but am having a hard time fixing them, and was hoping for some advise.

First problem, I became CLINGY, in the worst of ways, never realized it. I felt like I ALWAYS wanted to talk to her, and at times she said I was breathing down her neck, and yet I couldn't interpret that, it was me thinking she was just being a bitch, and of course I was wrong.

Second problem, and probably the biggest, I have become a pussie in every sense and form. I cried when she left me, I cried a few times when she was around after. What the fuck is that? Not even close to me, the real me.

When I first met her I was a confident man, not cocky in the slightest, but carried myself around feeling like if I tried hard enough, I could easily get any girl. I'm no sexy ass man, but I know I am attractive, I have gained weight but I am taking a MMA class (mixed martial arts) to get back into shape, and do what I love.

I KNOW she still loves me, and i'll explain why I believe that. We still hang out which is probably not for the best need time apart, but we enjoy each other a lot. When we do hang, we seem to have a really good time except when I give into my inner wussie and say something stupid. I can usually come back to make it mostly better, but should have never been done in the first place I acknowledge this. She still will hug me, and kiss me here and there, and I don't mean a peck. She still holds my hand ect, she says it's cause it's comforting ect, now I could be an idiot but to me that feels like she is saying she still loves me, but not the person I am.

I need help getting back to the way I am, I am taking every step I know how to i've read up a lot on the internet of ways to help get her back. But I want the touch of a real person's advise. I am getting back in shape and starting to get more confidence back, but I still feel the desire to always want to talk to her, and even more I think about her probably 24/7. I have for the MOST part been able to remove all contact unless it's something actually she would like, but I still at times catch myself randomly talking to her which I should not be right now.

Help me become my old self please.