[ten years gone]

Originally Posted by mikkiji

Maybe she's just NOT ready for that level of intimacy with you after only four months of dating. That's really not so long--be a bit patient! "Moving forward" with the relationship may not need to involve sex just yet. My late wife and I waited years--we went really slowly, and we became patient, devoted best friends in the meanwhile. We shared big chunks of our lives before going to bed with one another--in fact, we even slept together on several occasions before we actually did it. We deeply MATTERED to one another before having sex together. Four months is just really not that long a time. And if she has not had sex since she was 17, then in many ways she's as good as a virgin, and you ought to be treating her as such--with sensitive caution and respect. Pressuring her to "help you with your frustration" will not help your relationship at all, trust me on this one! Learn to enjoy her company, her presence, her conversation. When and if the sex comes, it will be all the more sweet and hot. In past generations, men often waited years, and although in many ways unnatural and unhealthy, men learned restraint, respect and responsibility in regard to women. IF you are pursuing this relationship mostly because you are anticipating sex, find a woman more on your own timetable for intimacy. This one could take a long time--and might well be worth the wait in the long run--but you'll be too frustrated and annoyed by then to be enjoying her very much.
Michael

See the thing is, I don't want to wait years. It's not a balanced relationship if I don't want to wait years but I do anyways. I don't know if I'm marrying this girl. I just want to have a decent relationship that I can enjoy and experience, instead of it not working out 3 years down the road leaving me with my dick still in my hand.