[EvilEvilKitten]

To begin: apology accepted. Please understand that I do not have any emotion when I type advice. (I edit those parts out immediately before submitting.) I do understand tempers, I have one, but working in the military, and raising kids as well as dealing with a husband - all teach you to 'pick your battles'. Head ruling heart except for those issues that demand an immediate passionate response. Do not worry - I'm rather thick skinned as well as broad-minded.

In response:

#1. Please cite chapter and verse (Be very careful here. The history of the Bible is not something to be neglected.) Not that spiritual reasons aren't valid, you understand.

#2. Part of why 'picking your battles' is a skill all should learn. In such a case, he has proven himself unworthy, not you. You would be guilty of taking on more than is your due - which is something close to the sin of pride in an inverted sort of way. But your point is also somewhat valid but I would say that if you're mature enough to understand your immaturity aren't you mature enough?

#3. True, but then nothing is 100%. But you're insistence upon things being 100% does lend support for your contention that you are still emotionally immature. One of the hallmarks of being mature is the ability to 'play in gray' that is able to deal with things not being clear cut and easily handled as are absolutes - 'black & white'. But isn't 99.something% of it NOT happening ever a good reason? Frankly, your chances of dying in a car wreck are greater and yet you do still drive a car, right?

Yes, he sounds like a fine young man. A much better choice than your friend's.

#4. Since you're not having sex tis a moot point. Condoms do several things: they help prevent premature ejaculation, protect against pregnancy, and prevent the transmission of STDs and they are almost as reliable as BCPs when used correctly. As far as you feeling any difference, you won't. The vagina doesn't have nerve endings past its outer edges. The internal hotspots (the G-Spot and the fornices) aren't activated by directly feeling ala nerve endings but by pressure against adjacent tissues so condom or not - doesn't matter to you and your enjoyment.

#5. No that's not dumb. Insecure and romantic perhaps but not dumb. While yes, the first time with each new prson is the worst sex you will have with that person - the time you spend learning and exploring is FUN! You also increase your skill level. Each person has his/her own style so even if you're doing essentially the same things, "how" is usually completely different. In that difference you not only learn about him but also about yourself. That too is FUN!

People change over time. Your circumstances change over time. Sex, even with the same person shouldn't become dull - if you're paying attention. Yes, I would know. But how will you ever know if the sex is great/good/bad with nothing to compare it to? If your fiance' (is it?) hasn't any experience dealing with the fornices would you know enough to help him learn? There's reading about and then doing - hence the reliance upon simulators to teach guys to drive tanks etc. - some things just have to be taught 'hands-on' as it were, by those who were previously taught 'hands-on'.

To recap:

1. marriage is a life-long arrangement not sex: just ask most married men over age 40. You also are idealizing marriage.
2. controlling parents tend to bring on emotional immaturity and other issues simply by being controlling - you have to learn how to fail with the parents acting as a safety net underneath your trapeze act but too late now. Remember this when dealing with your own kids.
3. Nothing is 100% not even fertility.
4. Use safe sex techniques and then test beforehand - twice.
5. Rather limiting.

Your points are somewhat valid but I noticed that you rely upon external support to a great extent but when you do, you don't seem to really dig into that support system and test it thoroughly. You accept it as written without question. I might be mistaken, of course, since this isn't an essay and I am not perfect.

But thank you for answering as you have.