[dancingdoc2]

How would you answer your last question about discussing finances?

Originally Posted by SugarCane29

Fantastic advice! My boyfriend and I aren't planning on living together until we're actually married and I've encountered many people who think it's a bad idea, but those same people also either clearly envy, or have stated they wish they have the sort of healthy relationship my boyfriend and I have. (Silly, stupid people..)

The same discussion can be used about premarital sex.

We've been discussing everything you've listed except we only cover finances in a vague sense. I think we've only discussed it vaguely because, at the moment, neither of us are finished with school, I'm unemployed and living at home with an interest-free school loan from my parents. He's living off of a small fraction of some money that was left him. Other than the small loan with my parents (which, either I'm paying off my parents before wedding my boyfriend, or they're going to forgive my debt as a way of helping out/paying for the wedding. He, however, is debt free.

Are you planning a big expansive wedding or a smaller more frugal ceremony? I subscribe to the school of thought that it is better to live within practical means than blow huge sums of money on one theatrical production. That said, my not asked for recommendation is to have a nice albeit thrifty special day. Arrangements can be fancy--just not the price tag.

I'd plan on reimbursing your parents. I believe you will feel better about yourself and with your relationship with them if you do make some payback schedule.

Your boyfriend's educational expenses might be considered to be "debt free"; however, if he pays back and reimburses his inheritance, both of you will be in a better position overall, later. Neither of you should consider his bank account as a free ride; rather, a source for a loan. So, while both of you may be technically debt free--are you really. I'd suggest as with any student loan, paying them back over time with a schedule that is acceptable to each of you and your parents.

This is his last term in school, I'll be done with school in hopefully by either end of Spring or Summer of '10 and we're hoping to get engaged in a year as well.

Would you recommend, since we aren't going to live together until we're married, that we discuss how we'll manage our finances when we're married, before or after we get engaged?

Finances are at the root of many marital problems. As a partnership, why wouldn't you discuss making a financial and life plan beforehand? You can always modify and update a plan as need be, later. This topic is no different than any of the other topics listed in the article that should be considered. Please go back and read it a few more times because it sounds to me like the underlying message is being missed.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?