Masturbation is only a problem if it is done to excess and interferes with a person's daily life, obligations, work, tasks, etc. The same can be said for watching porn. If done to excess it is likely to be a problem. If it is a casual interest, then no harm no foul. Done infrequently or in moderation it is another form of fantasizing. Fantacies are not harmful except in the extreme and then acted upon. If your man is being stimulated, fine. If he is complaining about your love life, then the two of you should sit down together at a time when you are not planning a romantic encounter and discuss what changes need to be made, what new activities can be incorporated, etc.
As for "foreplay", learn what this means. Please read this article for more on what I mean:
FOREPLAY: The Prequel and Sequel
There are several articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen that discuss the how-to's of making out as well as actual foreplay. I recommend the two of you read them, including EEK's articles on "The Program", etc., and then discuss what you have learned. Making love is a partnership, it is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with an for each other. Explore and learn together.
I think what you may need is more information and more technique.