[EvilEvilKitten]

Those who snoop are cowards. If you have a question - ask.
If you cannot ask, then you really do not want or need to know the answer.

Think this through.

Why are you doing this?
What do you fear?
Is this a relationship or a prison?

For the truth is that you do not trust and where you do not trust you cannot love so why haven't you left yet?

Snooping debases. There is no excuse for it either. If your question is so important that you're driven to roll around in the gutter like some slimy worm - you'd better ASK the question instead of snooping because you're going to need all the moral high ground you can get.

You are also saying that you are unworthy. How so? Who snooped, or felt the need to snoop, on whom? If you thought it was him/her and you snooped then you just proved yourself to be the unworthy one. Not him/her.

Even assuming so-and-so has been dishonest in the past, still, ASK don't snoop. You are the one who gave him/her the second chance. Why? By doing so you validated his/her previous behavior.

Those currently promoting this snooping believe that it is a way of opening the discussion. Well, you can do that just by asking. Confronting him/her with the results of your snooping only leads to recriminations, defensiveness, tit-for-tat, and down the spiral we go!

There really is no up-side to this snooping.

Feeding weaknesses never works to build strong loveing relationships. The urge to snoop is a weakness.