[dancingdoc2]

My ususal response is that romance and sex is serious business yet a person should not take it so seriously that you can't have fun and enjoy it.

In my dance classes I tell students to get out and go to a dance, not so much to "dance" but to "practice". The reason being that if a guy who is nervous and unsure about his abilities has to "dance", he is most likely to sit in his chair all night because he knows he has to "perform" and to be perfect which is impossible, so rather than get up and possibly make a fool of himself in his eyes, he would rather not do anything. If he and his partner go to a dance to practice, the mindset is that he can possibly make mistakes, yet because he and she are practicing, it is OK, and he can laugh them off and continue on becoming better and more confident in the process. Same here with this part of life and love.

As for being dominant, think of this as being an actress in a play or show. These actors and actresses take on rolls of the characters they protray. So, with this in mind, act your way along as if you are in a play. Give this a try and I think you'll find your acting as someone else and unrelated to you will relieve your angst and permit you do do things you as an individual might not feel comfortable doing.