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Problem is, until/unless you have been with other women, you can't really know if you're settling or not. I married my 'first', although I was not her first by a long shot. I loved her madly, partly because she rescued me from being a 21 year old virgin, partly because we'd been best friends for 5 years. and partly because we shared values, ideals, goals and interests. Our sexual spark varied from lukewarm to burning hot to fairly cool almost right from the beginning. but we enjoyed one another in every way--physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.
Over the years, I DID sometimes conclude that I'd missed something. During a rough cold patch after 20 years of marriage, I went and had an affair. That infidelity at least cured me of those regrets, not that that was the main reason for it. After that, I never really cared much about what I might have missed in my youth. After she died, I figured that I might as well take the opportunity to finally grab my lost adolescence and sleep with a bunch of girls. It didn't work out quite that way--I had one girlfriend for about 6 months, and although we set the bed on fire, I know I did not love her and so broke it off. That surprised me. I immediately accepted a blind date with another woman, it was love at first sight, we were married less than a year after we met, and I guess now my grand total of 4 women in 36 years will have to stand! No chance to sow any wild oats...
Michael
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