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i know being a male it builds up slowly and you get a total feeling then you cum.
from past experiences with ex girlfriends, it takes a while for you to get the feeling, once you have that feeling it takes a bit more then that.
maybe your hitting the first feeling and stopping, keep going until you hit that feeling and get a second one then you should be close to a full orgasm
hopefully one of the females on here can explain more being a female
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