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It's only going to hurt worse if you do this type of thing. Get the hurt over with now, and you'll be ok.
I know it seems like all you want is him right now, but soon you'll start to realize that he wasn't good for you. Stop thinking of him in your head in any kind of fond light; you have to think of this objectively. "I love the way he looks BUT he was doing this to me.."
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Numbing your bum before anal is like putting makeup on skin cancer.
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