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Thanks guys,
I have had councilling to deal with the issues i spent 8 months of my life just after it happened in pretty much full time counciling, and then again again on and off over the years. For the most part i have delt with it, this is sort of the last hurdle now and im stuggling to get over it and there's only so much a counciler can do to help.
I think it just get's difficult because my husband can't comprehend what happened, he's understanding to a point but for the most part he just tries to ignore it i think to be fair we both ignore it most of the time.
When we do try and "get over it" my husband wants to jump to point Z and can't understand why i can't. It's not that he's not caring he is he's very loving and i know he cares for me alot he just can't comprehend the scar's something like this leaves.
We talked the other night about "trying new things" the very next night he's going for anal. I tell him to stop and he just looked at me compleately confused saying that he thought i wanted to try new things.
The same with oral it doens't matter how many times i've said NO every now and again he asks. When i say no he then usually tries to talk me into it and it usually end's up in many tear's because i feel guilty and i know it's a fairly normal request. Then of course he spends the next two days saying sorry because he feel's guilty for upsetting me.
I guess he's just frustrated i think we both are.. The sex life we have isn't bad, we both enjoy it i just know there could be more.
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