[Lei]

I've been with my husband for 12 years and i love him very much, however it has to be said that our sex life isn't the most adventurous in the world.

His sex life before me was limited a couple of partner's but no long term relationship or anything which got past the basic's. I've had more partner's but again nothing that got past the basic's.

We have both talked about trying new things and we'd both like to add abit of spice to the relationship. However when it comes to actually doing it things get abit complicated. I think we are both abit embarressed to be honest which is silly concidering the amount of time we have been together.

I think he's open to anything but frightened to suggest things as i often shoot him down with a firm no.

I accept that much of the problem boil's down to me. When it comes to sex im just plain boring/scared/embarressed insert various words here.

I've been sexually abused in the past, something he is aware of but nothing we've ever talked about in great deal infact the only time we ever talked about it was when i was drunk once about 10 years ago. These days he acknowleges my past with passing the occasional comment like telling me it's ok he understand when i freak out over sex.

I really want to get passed this, i love him, he loves me and i know there is much more to sex then what we have.

I can't even give or recive oral sex without freaking out. I dislike it when watches me undress or makes comments about my body and the thought of dressing up in kinky underwear is enough to send me running to the hills.

It's all starting to get to me and i know it needs to change, we have a good "basic" sex life, we have sex regually and we both enjoy it but i really need to branch out into more adventrous things but im getting no-where.

Can anyone suggest some baby steps?? small things i might not find intimidating to try that may open up other things?