[Sesshomarulover261]

Before I say anything I want to thank you guys for not bashing me and for understanding my decision.

The pregnancy is a whole different issue...I mean...our relationship is so strained right now...then my lonelyness and he really did ignore me yesterday...

I was mad at him because of something that happened earlier and I said don't talk to me until saturday...well we still were arguing...I didn't really mean it...I shouldn't have said it but after awhile I really started texting him how bad I felt...and nothing. He said " You said saturday so I decided to leave you alone like you told me" ....

He doesn't understand how horrible I was feeling...alone, trapped, I felt like he didn't care about me or my feelings...I haven't felt that bad for a long time...the last time I had feelings like that I took it out on myself...it was a lot of trouble too.

He just left my house...no kiss or hug goodbye...nothing...but I got mad at him because he was talking about how "his friends aren't stupid, they know people fuck" ( I have a BIG problem with anyone besides me and him knowing we do anything, besides anonymously) throughout our relationship I have told him this so many times....that just really pisses the hell out of me. He has no freaking respect for me at all. I'm pissed!

Then I'm all alone at school...yes I have a problem with being alone...I feel self concious(sp?) and like a freak...I don't know why but I hate feeling that way...like there is something wrong with me...I have friends but were in completely different classes...and lunches...

I think I just had a breakdown...I started shaking and crying...I've never been like that before...it only lasted a few seconds but it scared me.