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You are feeling alone, abandoned, and overwhelmed. All perfectly expected. You must realise that your hormones are in control and instead of your mind ruling your body, now your body is ruling your mind - esp. your emotions.
You are not bad. You are not evil. You are worthy of a good life.
Please understand that your bf is also overwhelmed. Men react to stress by hiding away in the back of their caves and sharpening spears - metaphorically speaking. This tends to limit their communication. Yes, just when YOU the lady need to communicate the most, HE is hiding himself away and not talking. It isn't so much a question of maturity as a question of primitive man and the imperative 'never show weakness'. I assure you that he is feeling the same way you are. But men operate differently.
The correct thing to do is to soldier on. After due thought, make your choices, set your course, and do not go off the path you have determined to be the best for you. This will be difficult as everyone has an opinion and would be happy to tell you what you should do. This is your life, OWN it.
But...you know me...what the hell were you thinking?!?!?!?!
Do NOT get pregnant again until you're in a stable loving marriage to a good and worthy man. BCPs and condoms. Okay, the smacking is now over.
You are not alone and women have made it through even worse situations intact. We're here if you need to talk.
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