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Everyone's covered this quite well. All I can add is this: Yes, it will be hard to find a nice, loving guy. Keep in mind where you look for guys (if you look in a bar, you'll likely find problems), and that for every great guy there's 6 assholes. Persevere and don't take less than you deserve, and soon what you really ned will come along; a caring, compassionate guy.
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Numbing your bum before anal is like putting makeup on skin cancer.
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