[lnt1103]

I need to rant a moment, sorry.

Sometimes I feel like the proverbial frog in the pot of water that started cold and is heating up. Until someone splashes me in the face with TRULY cold water and I realize just how warm it's gotten without my noticing.

Sorry, I know that's confusing, let me clarify.

I know I'm very skinny. Have been all my life. Beanpole, toothpick, pencil, you get the drill. And ever since a little depressive phase I had about 8 years ago, where I lost 25 lbs in 8 weeks, it's been even worse. I'm not depressed anymore, but I can't seem to get the weight back, and if I do put some on, it doesn't stay. Part of this is that I'm type 1 diabetic, and to quote T, if I splurge, its a single, frostingless, cake doughnut, so he wonders what the point is. I hate the overfull feeling, so I normally quit at the first hint of getting full. And then there are the times that, if I didn't need to eat because of my condition, I really wouldn't feel the need to eat, but I do my best anyway, ya know?

So today, in an email at work that I admittedly shouldn't have seen, my colleague emails another colleague to ask if she knows if I have an eating disorder. I eat substantial lunch every day, haven't had a sick day that wasn't for doctor's check ups in probably a year or more. Part of me wonders how I didn't know I apparently look that bad.

End of rant, sorry. Can't facebook it, because my overprotective and paranoid mother would see it on my wall and get even worse than she already is. Even though I'm 31 in a couple months.