Thread: Unsure
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Old 08-23-2009, 03:56 PM
lnt1103 lnt1103 is offline
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I have to agree with a couple of EEK's basic concepts on that one--I just wasn't going to right away...kicking while down and all that.

Often the camel's back gets broken before the one who's capable of moving faster truly understands how slow the other needs things to go. I think that was the case here.

What you're supposed to do is take your cue from the other person, instead of expecting them to conform to everything you need/want. You're right, it takes two to make a relationship. Unfortunately, you were paying more attention to what you THOUGHT she SHOULD want/need, than you were to what she ACTUALLY did.

You were at opposite ends of a speed spectrum in which speed is scary. For people at the slow end, middle ground can even be freaky if it's an immediate jump. Just for the sake of making it more describable, lets say she was at 5mph and you were at 55mph. Middle ground being roughly 30. When every single mph she gains is such a huge step for her, you can't ask her to go from 5-30 in 4.5 seconds. It's a whole lot easier for you to hit the brakes than it is for her to force herself to hit the gas. You gotta let her move one mph at a time for a while, then after she's done that several times, you can help guide her to a couple-three mph at a time.

Sorry. Driving analogies have a special place in my heart. But you get the idea (I hope).
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