[lnt1103]

A distraught woman rushes into a veterinarian's office with her pet duck, who seems to be limp and lifeless. "Doctor, doctor, can you help my duck?"

She lays the duck on the exam table, and the vet looks it over a little. "I'm sorry ma'am, I'm afraid he's dead"

"DEAD?!?! How can you SAY that?!?! You haven't performed one SINGLE exam on this duck!!!!"

The vet is only semi-successful at hiding his sigh and the rolling of his eyes, but excuses himself from the room for a moment. When he returns, he has with him a huge, black Labrador Retriever. The dog hoists his large front paws up onto the exam table and sniffs the duck from tip to tail. He then looks sadly up at the doctor and shakes his head 'no'. The doctor looks lovingly back into his large brown eyes and pats him on the head, then walks him back out of the room.

When he returns, he carries with him a beautiful, long-haired, white Persian cat and places it on the exam table. The cat sniffs the duck from tip to tail, looks sadly up at the doctor and shakes his head 'no'. The doctor looks lovingly back into his eyes and pats him on the head, then carries him back out of the room.

The doctor walks back into the exam room and says, "I'm sorry ma'am, its unequivocal, your duck is dead."

As the woman takes a moment to resign herself to this sad news, the doctor goes out to the office, and comes back with a bill for services rendered.

"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!?!?! To tell me I brought in a DEAD DUCK?!?!?!"

This time the doctor doesn't even attempt to hide his exasperation. "Look lady, if you had taken my word for it the first time, I only would have charged you 20 bucks. But by the time you add in lab work and a cat scan...."