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Watching all the dance related TV programs, I am amazed when some guy or gal does some move that ends with falling into the splits, seemingly without effort or hesitation. Now, how does a person learn to do the splits? Practice and exercise from what I've been told. Not knowing anything more about this, it seems to me that what you may want to do is to "loosen up" by doing some exercises that stretch the affected muscles.
Also, when your legs are both raised and apart, are your legs being supported by your boyfriend? If not, ask him to support your feet or calves; alternately, rest your legs against his body.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
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