What does she say when she turns you down? How often do you ask her? Do you pop the question on her, or do you suggest it after a bit of caressing and kissing?
I can't speak for men, but for women, the brain is an essential sexual organ. If she starts out feeling not-so-interested, self conscious, uncomfortable, or anxious, she won't get as aroused as she could be. And ironically, when we're not completely aroused, it's when we have lubrication problems, difficulty climaxing, and less sensitivity.
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She has some body image issues and says she is a little ashamed of sex but doesn't know why. I dunno if she sees it as a big problem (that she is ashamed).She has only masturbated a couple times and says it also makes her feel ashamed.
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It sounds to be like she is not comfortable with her own body. It's not unusual for a teen or early-20s woman to have some self-image issues. Sadly the culture we live in make it impossible for a woman to be pretty, skinny, sexy, successful, and desirable enough. You can help her somewhat with this, but she's got to be willing to believe in the changes. Be patient and reassuring, but don't blame yourself if she doesn't change right away.
Suggestion: Can you increase the frequency of giving sincerely compliments, being careful to make them about her beauty & charm and not about sex? If you're thinking of giving her a gift sometime, perhaps something that makes her feel good about her body? What that is may depend on her, but a visit to a day spa seems to be something the women I know enjoy. You goal should be to make her feel your love, so whatever you do, don't let her think this is about getting sex more often.
How is her stress level otherwise? How is her satisfaction with the relationship, other than in bed? Why not spend some time bonding and being intimate with her without the sex?
I might also suggest learning how to do full-body massage. Do it with your own clothes on and trying to hold back your own arousal. The goal is to slowly explore her body, bringing her pleasure and relaxation. This will help release stress holding her back. It'll help remove her possible anxiety about you only touching her for sex. And the better her body feels, the better she ought to feel about enjoying it.
My other suggestion is to throw the routine away. Kiss and cuddle and just see where things go. Nobody needs to give/receive oral every time or have X number of climaxes per day. If she's feeling confident enough, can you let her take the lead? Or can you try making out but not touching her breasts or crotch until she puts your hand there? Do it sometime when you're both well rested and have plenty of time. Just explore each other. There are some really good ideas on this site about things to do.
Have you sat her down and had a talk with her? Do put the emphasis on her happiness, the bonding/intimacy, and her feelings... not on the obvious frustration you're feeling. Please also understand that a woman's libido can drop due to stress (physical or emotional), illness, hormone imbalances, and drug side effects. Open up lines of communication; working together, see if the two of you can't figure something out.
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She tells me after recieving oral once she is tired and it starts to hurt if I keep going, again I dunno if it is her or me, am I doing something wrong, is it just her body?
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If you made her climax, she may just be sensitive for awhile and this is normal. If you didn't make her climax, it may be that she's getting overstimulated. Either way, just give her a break.
The other question about pain concerning sex: it could be she's not fully physically aroused, which can cause discomfort and irritation during penetration. Hard thrusting (esp when the woman isn't so into it) can also cause discomfort. If it's pain during and following sex, that can also be something she wants to talk to her gyn doctor about.