[EvilEvilKitten]

Well, ty, Xsnap.

And you're almost there. Half -right I'd say.

Number One Rule when dealing with "survivors" is do NOT fight with them. Ever. No arguing.

How you do this is keep your cool. Remember that it is the war and not the battle you're trying to win. You use mild humor to difuse the situation "Hmmm that didn't come out right. Hang on! Let me think here. I'm a guy, so you know I have foot-in-mouth disease." It isn't so much as rolling over but more as simply refusing to fight, raise your voice, or to hear bad language. Remember that it is impossible to be angry when you're laughing so hard you cry - if you can her to that point, you're golden.

Rule Number Two do NOT tell a survivor how to live his/her life

He/she has gotten this far, right? All you should aim to do is assist him/her to go where he/she wants to go. If you don't know where that is ASK. "What's next?" Only offer solutions if asked for them. "How would it be if I did....?"
"What do you think of trying it this way....?"

Also if asked for an opinion and you're male - you don't have one and she can't make you have one. You're not falling for that old ploy either. If she wants to get an opinion out of you, she'll have to work a whole lot harder than that! Tell her so while grinning at her. It works. She'll say MEN! in an exasperated tone - but it is all good.

Got it? You're a big strong teddybear who thinks she's cute and there's nothing she can do about it! You're not changing your mind - she's cute, dammit, and she'll just have to accept it.

Now then - onto the jealousy thing.

You have no rivals. Those other guys - do not exist and even if they did, they're not at all important. The big strnog teddybear regards those other guys as "Ken dolls" that she'll eventually tire of and put away on the shelf. Oh, you're polite and all should you meet them - got to be mannerly - but you're far too big of a man to be bothered by them.

Cool, Confident, Controlled but never 'controlling', and very Cuddlable - for the right woman. That's your target.

This method will require patience on your part but it does work very well indeed. How do you think my husband kept hold of me for all these years, the pesky man!