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The biggest thing is patience with and respect for each other. Try not to get too exasperated with her when this happens---if you come across like 'SIGH....you took that wrong.....again' that translates into you're not listening to her and you don't care about her feelings.
And, the other thing you gotta remember is, it's a defense mechanism on her part. Precisely what she's defending against only she knows, but for one thing, she's probably afraid of the very thing you mentioned as your first instinct about her. She probably experiences that apprehension from people a lot, and it's not a nice feeling. She's probably very keenly aware that people can be like that, and she could be afraid it will happen again.
I've had several health things in my life, both mental and physical, and I once asked T what he wanted with me given all that stuff. Luckily for me, his response was to ask me what right he had to hold it against me. But not all are that way.
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