I have been having problem with my boyfriend of 11 months...Since the very first time we had sex we have had a very annoying and redundant situation; We usually can only have sex for a very short period of time. By short period of time I mean under an hour...including foreplay. We actually engage in sex for 5 to 20 minutes.
"Very short"? I don't think so, although, this is a matter of individual perception, and, if less than half an hour, total, I would agree with you. On the other hand, if you want to enjoy fooling around for longer than forty five minutes or so, then other than time and opportunity, there should be nothing preventing you.
Many women report that if intercourse lasts longer than about ten minutes, they become sore, bored, and, tired.
The foreplay is very short usually. My boyfriend rushes it, sometimes to the max with barely touching but on normal days we might touch each other for 10 to 15 minutes.
Except for the proverbial "Quicky", this is way too brief and does not prepare you sufficiently. Said another way, this is not enough time to get your motor running and warmed up!
FOREPLAY: The Perquel and Sequel
I know that the rushing situation is my fault as well because when he rushes I should stop him but I don't, my yearning gets the best of me but I'm working on that.
Yup. In this scenario, you are your own worst enemy, regardless of your boyfriend's enthusiasm and haste, also.
The Program
Body Worship How-To by EEK
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Humping(plus the G-spot and Making Out)
I think the problem might be because of the short foreplay time but I'm not really sure.
Asked and answered, above.
Now here comes the real problem...We start having sex...it begins to feel pretty good....getting better...better...
fun...STOP. Something happens. Maybe it gets to hot so he's tired and gets soft, or maybe his knee is hitting his charger or a phone or some cord so we pause, maybe he's to hungry, maybe he needs to pee, or maybe he starts thinking about something, and sometimes he just stops. The bottom line is he gets soft...really fast and really easily and after he gets soft I cannot figure out how to get him hard again.
There are too many "maybes"; however, given that the length of time the two of you generally spend making out, I offer this thought: All too often nowadays, guys operate under the misguided misconception that the best way to a climax is from lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking. WRONG. This is why we should be devoting so much time to making out. Intercourse should not begin until you want it to and then only after he has reached the peak of his arousal and about to lose control. (Please read Chapter Four)
So he loses his erection, so what. Just fall back and rebuild it by making out some more and or indulging in some foreplay. A lost erection does not mean sex has to end--far from it. Get this notion out of your heads.
At first we thought it was the condoms because he is large. The biggest size of trojan is extremely tight on him to the point where it hurts him. So we were very careful and stopped using them. The problem still occured.
He tells me it feels good, and I've asked him a million questions and all of them turn up inconclusive. We have been dealing with this for about 6 months and I can't take this anymore. I AM TIRED OF IT! I have never cum with him once...and he barely cums either.
Are you using a contraceptive? If so, and you cannot find a condom for him that works well, please use a spermicide in you for added protection.
If you are having trouble achieving a climax, yet are capable, then this goes to a lack of technique. Please read the articles on this, also. Very few positions place a woman's pieces-parts in constant contact with his pubic mound sufficient to produce the required friction. What a knowledgeable, skilled, caring, lover will do is to reach around and finger his partner while stroking away.
On top of all of that I cannot for the life of me get him to talk to me about it. I am so frustrated with him and this problem. I really need someone to talk to about this and someone to help or give me advice.