[bela]

I am desperate... I am 33, actually less than a month from turning 34. I have been w/ my current bf for almost 3 months. From the beginning sex was an issue... he questioned right away whether I got off. I didn't... I have only been able to have a clitorial orgasm w/ a vibrator. So how this has all gone is he is obsessed w/ getting me off. Now keep in mind, he is a little younger, late 20's, he's been w/ a lot of women and he insists they've all gotten off and had hard orgasms. He told me he's gotten girls off so hard they have actually clenched their vaginas so hard it's pushed his penis out. I've read about this, I know that it exists, my question is why the heck isn't that happening for me?

He hates the vibrator. He hates the fact that I can get off hard w/ it. I will not suggest using it, he'll freak out. He is not content w/ me being able to get off on my own, he is obsessing w/ getting me off vaginally. So obsessed that is really putting a lot of pressure on me to the point where if I could successfully fake it, I would.

He is not mean in the way he talks to me about this. But none the less the things he says bothers me. He has told me that it is basically like doing it just to do it and that he feels like he is not sexually exciting me and that discourages him. He says that he does not think that I am into him. He says that having me be out of this world arroused by him is what makes him horny and that he is not getting that from. I told him over and over that he does arouse me that he turns me on and that I love being w/ him. He is measuring his own sexual worth by whether or not he can get me off. I have assured him that the sex is enjoyable, I feel emotionally connected to him, I feel like he loves me, I feel special and all the ingrediants a woman needs to feel satisfied. None of that is good enough. He wants to me to get off during sex or while fingering me.

I purchased a book on the Gspot, we read most of it. He tried the things the book said. He says he doesn't think I have one. After 20 minutes or more of fingering me, he says maybe I just don't have one. He says any other girl he's been w/ it's been easy to find. He says maybe mine is just deeper than most. He's also told me that my clit is very small. He can get me off by going down on my and vibrating his lips on my clit but he can not get me off w/ just his finger or tongue. He actually is the only one to get me off that way and once he even made me squirt. I am starting to believe that my vibrator has gotten me to the point where I can't get off w/o it or some other forceful vibrating type sensation. He brought it up once, I read it on here also, so I'm thinking that may be the case. But that is the only way I've ever been able to get myself off. I know no other way to orgasm.

I have read about Gspot orgasms. I believe they exist. He's told me stories of his past experiences and I all I can say is wow, I want that w/ him. He is so let down that he can't get me off and we have had hours and hours of discussion about it. There really isn't a right way to tell someone you are losing interest in them b/c you can't get them off, but he somehow managed to tell me w/out being an asshole about it. Still hurts my feelings and makes me feel pretty worthless. I have never felt not satisfied after being w/ him... but somehow he feels he's not connecting w/ me.

Since its still very early in our relationship we've agreed maybe I'm the type of woman that needs more than a few months to completely let go and get to the point where I'm loosened up and not tense and it will eventually just happen. But I can think back as far as my sexual experiences began and I don't think I've ever gotten off by penetration.

Not only is this a problem for our relationship, but it's really depressing me that I can't even find my Gspot. I have tried. Diagrams are too confusing. It's like I want to go to doctor and have him point me to it. Is it possible I don't have one? I've had my share of partners and he is actually the first person to ever question me and care enough to figure it out, but at the same time, he's frustrated enough to give up and just have sex w/ me to get himself off and be done. That's not fair to me, it's not really been that long that we've been having sex and we are still getting to know each other.

Sorry this is sooooo long, but I am really at a loss and desperate to figure this out so I can have this earth shaking Gspot orgasm I've read so much about. I want to tremble and shake and feel like I am completely out of control. He tells me girls get that way, and I've read about it.

I welcome any and all advice. Please, I am desperate!