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Why some women have trouble "letting go" is because:
1. they fear a. the unknown, b. being thought of as a slut by him because she enjoys sex, c. actually thinking of herself as a slut because she enjoys sex. This happens because she's been taught "good girls don't" and that sex is debasing.
or
2. she does not, deep down, want to give up the power and attention she gets when bemoaning the fact that she hasn't orgasmed.
Your comment "didn't put forth the effort" leads me to suspect the answer in your case is a combination of both. So to make the point very clear to you: IT IS NOT HIS JOB TO GET YOU OFF - WE ARE EACH RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN ORGASMS. If you don't want to cum, you won't no matter what he does.
So to answer why you can't - Look Inside Yourself and ask what you really think about sex. Masturbate alone to the point of orgasm. Reflect upon the facts that sex and female sexuality is your birthright and that others have, because of their own weak egos, been controlling female sexuality for centuries - mainly by teach ing wmen BS about themselves ala #1 above - the whole slut/whore/goddess thing.
Pawn or Queen? - your choice.
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