[dancingdoc2]

> I'd take a few steps back in your relationship, go on romantic dinners, treat her well, and get up your confidence. Eat right in the meantime, stop doing drugs (if you do them) and give it a go again.

Excellent recommendations.

Taking a few steps back in your relationship might be recommended if you two are rushing into this without much "history" with each other. In other words, if you just began dating and are already attempting to have intercourse, then, YES, back up and--

SLOW DOWN. It takes time to get to know one another and build sufficient levels of intimacy and trust. It also takes time to mature into a relationship sufficiently in order to feel comfortable with each other and with yourselves.

SLOW DOWN. Please tell us how long the two of you fool around and make out before attempting intercourse. This is an extremely important question.

SLOW DOWN and devote no less than half an hour to forty five minutes (longer if convenient and time permits) to just making out. If you are attempting intercourse within the first thirty minutes, you are rushing and not giving either of you sufficient time to become relaxed and aroused.

If this is what your game plan has been then I recommend you go to the Index and read all about how to make out--Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, all before ever getting to Foreplay, and beyond. There are at least two articles on all this, not to mention others on the art of kissing, and other useful information. Here is why this is so important:

* First, women require much more time and attention in order to become highly aroused than do men. Guys can be willing, up and ready, within minutes; not so the gentler gender. This is why you should devote no less than half an hour to kissing, cuddling, fooling around and making out in all of its various and progressive steps. All this is covered in great detail in the multi-chapter article in the Index.

* While this is very necessary for women, it is also beneficial for men as well. A benefit of spending time becoming very highly aroused is that we tend to relax emotionally.

* Second, a lot of fellas nowadays operate under the misguided misconception that the best way to an orgasm is via lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking. WRONG. This is the purpose of Foreplay and all the stuff that precedes this.

* Intercourse should begin after the couple has achieved a very high state of arousal--and, are invited to enter, verbally or non-verbally. Intercourse should begin after the man has gotten to a state of pins and needles and tingling just before the peak of his arousal curve when he is about to lose control.

If you are at this stage, it is not uncommon for your penis to feel like it cannot expand any more and is about to burst. Get to this point and I'm willing to bet that with a mind focused on the inevitable, you will succeed.

Do some reading, give this a try, enlist your girlfriend's participation, and have at it. Please get back to us with a follow-up.

I hope this is of help.