[MissCarmen]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

> I ask him why is he with me

> How can we move forward

I ask you why you are with him?

Go "forward" without him.

My gosh, woman, do you think so little of yourself that you would put up with this treatment for all these years? Where is your self esteem?

You are a perfect example of how dating is not suppose to work; dating is not supposed to begin and end with the first warm body that expresses an interest in us. Dating is supposed to be about learning what humanity has to offer us in the way of potential mates as we go out with lots of people and learn about differences in personalities, character, likes, dislikes, goals, morals, quirks, etc. so that when Mr. Right does come along you will be better able to recognize those traits and snag him. You have some catching up to do!

> It hurts to know that the person you love thinks you are nothing more than trash.

To tell the truth, I am more concerned about you than him. What has compelled you to put up with this treatment for so long? The only thing worse that spending five years with this man is spending five years and one day more. If you are so needy that you would settle for this arrangement instead of moving on and dating lots of other men then I believe you have issues that a good counselor should help give you some insight into.

Please do not reply with something to the effect that "but I love him". Clearly what has been going on for all these years is not working; so why not change your situation and begin playing the dating game as it should be played? You owe yourself a better life and I do not understand why you haven't gone after it long before now. In my opinion, there is no future with him. He will not change because there is no incentive for him to. He has you right where he wants you and you are allowing this to continue by enabling his treatment of you.

If you were a guy I'd be telling you to get a pair... and change your circumstances for the better. Get some gumption, woman, find your self esteem and self worth, then become socially active, then look for a man who worships the ground you walk on and the clothes you wear, your opinions, and more, much more!

I have just started to see a therapist. She says she is going to help me find out why I stay with him. I feel like I have been really complacent. He has told me I can walk away right now and he will not lose any sleep. I do feel lonely, I do not have any friends and even though I have all of this family, I feel alone. I feel like I would be even more miserable if I have to face life without him. I just told the therapist I am tired of being this way and I want to change.