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I'm not sure if you understood what I posted or not. I can not say what would happen to my marriage if my wife had an affair. I would like to think we would be able to work through it and salvage our marriage, I do know we would try. Yes the trust in our marriage would be damaged, but I said damaged not destroyed. You asked why a little fling would destroy it? Because we both took vows to honor, love and obey each other and having an affair is not living up to those vows. I trust my wife to be faithful to me just as I am to her. Whatever her or my reason would be for having an affair it would not make it right and would be a show of disrespect for the other. If one of us had an affair what is to say we wouldn't do it again and whats to say we hadn't done it before but just didn't get cought? If I were to have an affair I would expect my wife to lose some of her trust for me and I would have to work to earn it back. I don't know, maybe I'm just old fashioned but I don't see adultry as something to be taken lightly. When me and my wife took those vows we were giving the other our word we would remain faithful and I take that seriously.
I have no idea what your saying about the ego part. We all have them including yourself. An ego can be a helpful thing or it can destroy you. You have the find the balnce where you control your ego instead of it controlling you. It doesn't matter how you word it adultry is wrong. The main cause of most affairs is the lack of communication between a husband and wife. When we first got married niether of us wanted to hurt the other so we tip toed around conflict. Well that lasted about one year. We have our fights now but we never get nasty or say hurtful things to the other, there's no need to because you can always word things in a way not to be hurtful. I wouldn't even want to guess the number of arguments we have had in our 25 years together but I can say we always worked through them, and that bull about not going to sleep until the disagreement is settled, ha! Some of our disagreements went on for months befroe we came to an agreement but we never let it effect our feelings for the other.
Your last statement says adultry is a symptom not a cause. I disagree strongly. Adultry is a choice. The one that has the affair made the choice to cheat and whatever excuse they use to justify it is just that, an excuse. They could have at anytime ended the marriage, they could have sat down and talked to their partner, or they could have looked for counseling but when they let their hormons take over they made a choice to not think about their partners feelings or they just didn't care about them.
I am proud to say that in our 25 years of marraige neither me nor my wife have had an affair or even wanted to. I'm sure some will find that hard to believe but it is possible. And no I would not throw my marriage away if my wife did have an affair. I would do everything in my power to try and repair our marriage and hopefully put it all behind us. But I also know that it would be a long rough road for both of us. If you love your spouse your willing to take the rough road if thats what is needed.
Just out of curiousity are you married Kitten? I don't mean that in any to start something. I'm just curious because of some of your statements so please don't take it as being disrespectful.
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