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Ok here's my first post and boy did I pick one to jump in on. So far I have seen where some think having sex with someone other than your spouse is no big deal. I've seen post saying we don't stay together for love but for property gains instead.
I have been married for 25 years and I can say I love my wife more today than I did last year. Every year my love for her grows stronger. We have never really had that great of a sex life, even though I wish we did, but that has never effected my love for her. I didn't marry my wife for the sex but instead for the companionship, friendship, support, the joy of knowing I have someone who will be there for me when I really need them. This sounds like a best friend and yes she is my best friend. We are best friends who tust each other with our deepest darkest secrets that we would never tell anyone else. At the same time we both feel warmth and security form the other. We know that when the world has us down the she will be there to help pick us up and stay by our side to see us through whatever the situation is. When you truely are in love with your spouse you know it's you two against the world and your better half will fight by your side to the end. Being married and in love is knowing that if you have had a bad day your spouse will let you rant and rave and never ignore you. It's knowing that when you make a mistake you can confess to it and they will forgive you and still love you unconditionally.
Someone asked why commiting aultry is such a big deal. Well a marriage is based on trust. I you do not trust your spouse or they do not trust you then you will never have that special bond all married couples should have. When you place that much trust in a person and they commit adultry with another person the trust is broken, but not destroyed if you truely love your spouse. Haveing a spouse cheat is painfull and it leaves deep wounds but as with any wound it can heal, the process isn't easy but it can be done. But to heal both people need to be open and honest. The one that cheated needs to confess they cheated, try to explain what drove them to do it and they need to decide if they are really with the right person. They also need to be willing to take what thier spouse has to say. The other needs to explain how much it hurt them and how the trust has been broken. The one cheated on may need to talk about it on and off for months to help the healing. They may need to cry or be angry or most likely both and the othe needs to put up with it and ask forgiveness. But at the same time the cheated on needs to be willing to give forgiveness. If the couple is truely in love there should be able to forgive the one they love.
Cheating hurts the trust but it also hurts self respect and ego. Ego is so easily hurt and so hard to repair. The one cheated on starts to wonder whats wrong with them to cause the person they love to turn to someone else. Does their partner really love them, are they that bad in bed? a lot of times it has nothing to do with either of these things but instead a lack of intamacy and communication. Sex between a married couple is something very special that they share and nobody else can experiance it. It's like a holly temple and when another man or woman steps in it is soiled.
i don't know if any of this makes any sence but it's hard to explain why sex is so protected between a married couple that truely love each other. I guess part of it is because when you take your wedding vows you promise to remain loyal to that person and when you break that it shows disrespect and dishonor to the other, something a marriage needs to survive especially in today world.
Ok I'm off my soap box now, sorry for all the rambling on.
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