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> Kind of bringing this topic from the grave but..
The thread is alive and well, actually. It is one of many articles listed in the Index.
> I can really relate to this kind of dilemma. First off, I entirely agree with the idea of dating around to learn about other people and yourself. I also strongly agree with healthy relationships being more like two people cooperating together to better each others' lives without compromising their own.
You get it!
> I am however, still on the wall about the morality of sleeping around while boyfriend/girlfriend status has already been established with someone.
The difference is that "exclusivity" has not been established and this is exactly the point. By not dating one person exclusively, couples eliminate the angst, drama, and, trauma, associated with these arrangements. This is particularly important for teens, both for what you reiterated, above, and, because they do not yet have the emotional storehouse and the skills to manage differences in points of view, wants, and opinions. Breaking up is much harder for people who have been exclusive.
> I may have misunderstood what you all meant by "dating around", but wouldn't too many people get hurt by this?
As explained, this is exactly why it is important to date many people and sometimes more than one at a time in open relationships. People have more opportunities to go on dates, and, the people can enjoy all the perks without all the disadvantages. "Exclusivity" if desired, can be implied without need of a verbal contract if it desired, later.
Hurt? No. This is how dating has been done for decades. It is why exclusivity is not recommended. Oh, sure, we might be disappointed that dating a particular individual did not last longer; however, this is to be expected and is part of the process and has far less emotional impact.
> How would you guys still date around without hurting too many people? Especially those who try to only have exclusive relationships? It would be a shame to not get to know those people too ;(
Let's flip this around and ask how you girls would date around without hurting too many guys? The key to understanding this is to get over the thought that "I need to belong". Read, again, what I said about perks.
You do get to know these people if the desire is there. As we age and mature, we change. Who we might be in love with at 15 is not the person we would choose at 18, or, 20, or 22, etc., and vice versa. If we date only one person for an extended period, we severely limit our options of determining whether s/he is going to be the right person for us overall and long term. This new trend of exclusivity in my guesstimation is one reason why there are so many separations and divorces. Mr./Ms. Right was never given an opportunity to enter a person's life. Another is that couple never learn coping, social, and negotiating skills.
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