Quote:
Originally Posted by dlb
So Bouledoux it appears that your concerns range far wider than an "oral veto."
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Well, sort of. I mean, whenever we engaged in oral sex (both fellatio and cunnilingus) I got the distinct impression my wife was relishing every moment of it; but I also got the impression a part of her, which got left behind in the heat of the moment, remained unenthusiastic. This part is what now seems to have grown to dominate her sexual behaviour. It started off vetoing oral sex, and now it's also vetoing any sort of excitement that might lead to oral sex. So, the absence of oral sex, which was my original concern, has led to a decrease in her relish for all forms of abandonment during sex, which has made me realise there is more to my sense of loss than I originally thought.
The odd thing is, we are making love more often, in a greater variety of settings, with greater freedom (possibly due to children leaving home and no more conception worries) than ever before; and yet, there's a massive taboo around what we can and can't do that seems to have diminished our ability to give ourselves wholeheartedly to each other.
Unfortunately, I don't believe my wife has the sort of friend who would talk about sex openly, if at all. If they did, she probably wouldn't reciprocate. She might talk about it, in a clinical way, with her sister; but not in any personal detail. She would definitely consider her sex life too private for that. She found talking to the therapist, who was a complete stranger, very uncomfortable.