[Bouledoux]

I thought I would provide an update, even though it tells against me, to some extent. First off, I haven't yet tried the Program. I told myself I would, as I waited for my wife to return from a trip overseas. That was nearly two months ago. Then I told myself I would wait for warmer weather, as my wife is extraordinarily sensitive to cold. When we make love, she's very aware of the temperature, particularly when we begin, and usually has to be partially clothed or covered. Myself, I could be outside in the snow, and not turn a hair. Anyway, I decided I would wait for the sort of weather where it is possible to lie around naked with no thought of either clothes or sheets, because it seemed to me that the Program required my wife to not do a great deal, and I was concerned she would pay more attention to the question of being cold than her own excitation, which would defeat the point.

At the back of my mind, I did wonder if I was prevaricating for other reasons; but the only ulterior motive I could discern was fear that any eventual attempt of the Program on my part wouldn't have the desired effect.

What effect did I desire? I started this thread because I was missing oral sex; so, to have that back would be wonderful. But I have came to realise what I am really missing, of which mutually enthusiastic oral sex is a part, is my wife as an overtly, brazenly sexual being. Although we make love regularly, and both enjoy it, I'm belatedly realising that my wife doesn't become truly involved - passionately, vocally, unequivocally - until she is maybe three quarters of the way to orgasm. Anything short of half-way, and it is as if she is only joining in with part of her mind. The other part might be contemplating any number of other subjects. And, of course, because she isn't completely 'there', she doesn't become aroused easily, which further delays her metamorphosis into a sex tigress.

So, one fear I had was that any attempt on my part to do the Program, which by its nature has a long, slow build up to eventual orgasm, could result in my wife only having half a mind for what I was doing. That might make it tricky to persevere - along the lines of talking to someone who isn't really listening. I got so concerned about this - while waiting for hotter weather - that I began to think the instructions for the Program left a bit to be desired. I felt they weren't precise enough, for me. It was like a recipe that was too vaguely worded; I wanted something more exact.

As it happened, I came across what I thought of as an alternative, minutely choreographed version of the Program. It began with a full body massage, which led to an erotic massage, ending in a detailed labial massage, followed by very slow cunnilingus, a clitoral orgasm, then manual stimulation, a g-spot orgasm, and finally a mixture of both oral and manual, with a blended orgasm. What I liked was the precision of the instructions. I printed them out and tried to learn them by heart.

The anticipated hot weather arrived. We agreed a time, I got the oil out, and we started. I expended quite a bit of effort with the full body massage, so I was more than a trifle disappointed after I had moved on to the labial massage, by which time, according to the instructions, my wife should have been so 'hot' it would be all I could do to prevent her reaching down and fondling her own genitals. In fact, she had not stirred; there was no flush of excitement on her face; her breasts were not engorged; her breathing remained placid. It was, unfortunately, as if I had been trying to arouse a dead fish.

As I progressed with the labial massage, feeling rising confidence that this, at least, would produce some sort of response, my wife asked me why I had omitted to massage her arms. I was nonplussed. The answer was, the arms hadn't been part of the deal! The 'full' body massage had left them out. I mumbled petulantly that her job was not to wonder about what I was, or wasn't, doing; but to simply enjoy the experience of it. She then said she couldn't do that as she was concentrating on remembering what I did so she could do the same in return!

We moved on. The labial massage was supposed to be followed by a very detailed, extraordinarily slow cunnilingus session. It sounded just the ticket; but, obviously, we couldn't do that. Had my wife been finely primed, I might have attempted the merest brush of my mouth on her genitals, especially since she had a scarf covering her eyes, and might not have immediately discerned what part of my anatomy was doing what; but she was obviously more acutely keyed in to the exact practicalities of what was taking place than the sensations produced by it.

Following the cunnilingus section was manual stimulation. We skipped straight to that. This required first and foremost that my wife was at least partially aroused. She clearly wasn't. Matters degenerated from that point into a not atypical masturbatory session where my wife got stiffer and stiffer as she tried muscularly to 'reach orgasm' while I fingered her clitoris until she did.

That effectively ended matters. My wife has never shown the slightest interest in a second orgasm following her first, at least not on the same day; so my hopeful request that we could start again fell on stony ground. Instead, she said she would return the favour the next day. I didn't have the heart to say that form of favour wasn't what I wanted so much as for her to eat me alive, there and then!

This isn't intended to be a gripe at my wife. She responded to what I did, and I think what I did - which wasn't the Program - was at fault. I'm no longer convinced that the recipe I had is worth following - at least with her. Maybe no recipe of that sort is. I'm absolutely positive I have the key to unlock the door that will transport her to a place of sexual abandonment, well before the last stages of intercourse, but for a long time I've felt I've been fumbling with a changed lock, using mostly a bunch of uncut blanks.

I've just sat down and studied The Program again and the differences between it and my 'alternative program' are stark. With what I did, I was following a set of procedures that didn't take into account my wife's responses, or lack of response. I just ploughed on, regardless. Also, I went from Massage (1), through a lukewarm version of Erotic Massage (2) directly to Manual Stimulation (4). Body Worship (3) was not in my recipe; and yet, I think it's probably the most important element of The Program.

So, I'll start again, hopefully tomorrow. Luckily, the weather's looking good for the foreseeable future.