[SadisticEuphoria]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

'OMG - one lout telling you that you were nothing is enough to break your ego?!?! Come on, girl - consider the source - some young punk who the girls tolerate for a period of time and then kick out.

Stop moaning about he was soo great - pffft. He isn't. He is a LOUT. You're not a cocker spaniel so quit acting like one. It is disgusting. You have invested all the virtues of mankind in a kid who told you that you were nothing. (And he lied here too.) How stupid is that? Stop it.'

Ok, so It's the first guy I've ever dated & the first guy who has ever actually liked me. He was one of my closest friends before we dated. I know I didn't love him as well, I realised that afterwards, I was just saying that at the one moment, he made me feel like I was the only woman alive that mattered by the way he looked at me. It was bullshit, yeah I know that know.
The fact is though it wasn't just one guy. I have never had anyone like me before or ever be interested in me. Guys didn't like me, I know everyone says that when really it isnt the case. For me I truly think it is, I don't even have male friends, he was the only one to even talk to me. My entire life it has just been me, on my own with all my friends being the ones who got the attention. I was the ugly girl that hangs around the pretty girls. So I fell 'in love' with the idea of being liked, rather than him. So it knocked my confidence majorly cos the one person I thought to EVER like me, turned out to just try & get in my pants. Eventhough he was one of my closest friends beforehand.

'Sex does NOT equal love. The two are entirely different things. Love is the emotional bond while sex is the physical expression of desire. NEVER confuse the two. You not only do not have to date to get sex, you don't even have to actually like him to enjoy him - it helps but it isn't mandatory. Always use BCPs and Condoms'

I always use condoms, no matter what. If the guys says he cant feel anything - well he wont be feeling anything anyone cos his not coming anywhere near me (excuse the pun). I know that sex doesn't equal love. The feeling though, that when you are having sex or before or after, makes you feel like you are. It's that connection & for that 30mins, hour, whatever, you have a connection. I love that feeling. So I just want that back.

But thank you for being brutally honest, I agree with alot of what you said. I need to fix up, badly. But I don't know how because I just want someone. I'm almost 17, I don't want serious yet, I just want to have fun but be appreciated & made to feel like I actually matter.

I have never told this to anyone, even my very very few friends, I'm always smiling & happy. Shy & quite, yeah. But I dont let anyone know this is how I feel about myself. People think im the opposite of everything I said on here, think im a virgin & innocent. It's not like im some desperate slut who tries to get laid by random guys.