[dancingdoc2]

Is you is or is you isn't, that is the question?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Beauty is only skin deep.

These adages come to mind because they are only partial truths.

I agree, you are a handsome dude, guy. What about me? I wear a scowl on my face all the time just because that is the way "I'm hung", so to speak. I have to be very conscious of the fact and wipe the scowl off my face and smile--especially while attending dances! or in conversations with others. My facial scowl makes me look mad, yet all I'm doing is concentrating on something or simply not being conscious that I have to turn the scowl upside down into a smile or at the very least a neutral expression. That's my hangup. Do I get the girls (romantically and on the dance floor?), yes. Why? A positive attitude, a pleasant demeanor, first and second, then being a great dancer for which many women want a three minute relationship with.

Physically? Let's just say I'm pleasingly plump. Did that prevent me from finding women to love over the years? NO! This brings me to my point.

It seems to me from reading everything on this thread that your problem is not with ears, smile, hair style, complexion, height, weight, penis size, or other features--the problem is centered between your ears. What wins women over is a winning smile, a twinkle in the eye, a good sense of humor (or at least being able to laugh at others as well as yourself) and a fantastic personality, reliability and punctuality. Work on these yet do not be a jerk.

I've spent a few dollars on books dealing with relationships in order to find out why mine had problems along the way. As the answers pertain to you, I can tell you that if you develop the characteristics, above, and do not worry so much about breast size, physical size, hair color (unless it is pink, blue, or streaked) and just work on finding someone who appreciates you for you, while you do the same, you will end up being a much happier man.

If you prefer a certain stature or other feminine characteristics, so be it. We all have our preferences, yet when all is said and done, I'd much rather be with an attractive individual with whom I can relate and interact. If you are focused on women meeting some desired set of measurement benchmarks on a ruler, you are doomed to live a lonely life.

How do you fix your situation?
* Drop the "woe is me attitude". It isn't working for you so you do not need to keep doing it

* Smile at everybody you talk to or you walk past. Give each person a moment of eye contact--men and women.

* Have a few people drawn from family, friends, and, coworkers, assess your conversational skills and give you feedback on how well you speak. If you do not deliver what is on your mind in a pleasant manner, people will not listen to you.

* The clothes you are wearing in the photo are very nice so I do not need to talk about wardrobe, other than to say, always dress appropriately. Don't let the crotch of your pants slide down to your knees, or as some fellas do in the states--let their boxers show all the way down to the bottom of their butt. In other words, dress nicely whether you are in a suit or work clothes or something in between.

* Inform family members, friends, and, coworkers, that you are interested in dating and to help you find people. This is called networking. The more eyes you have looking on your behalf, the more choices you are likely to have.

* Join social, sporting, and/or special interest groups in which you and women have a mutual interest.

* Read what I have written on the subject of dating. The dating process should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Dating is all about learning what humanity has to offer us in the way of personalities, character, likes, dislikes, quirks, goals, morals, values, etc.

Dates may begin and end with a dinner--or two. Dates may last a few weeks or months--and a few will be long term keepers; however, eventually all but one or two will fall by the wayside as you narrow the field and as Ms. Right come into view. The same holds true for women with the men they date.

If you date several different people you will begin to focus on what is really important in a mate, not just the statistics. If you date several different people you will be exposed to lots of different interests and activities. If you date more than one woman at a time you will have more opportunities to go on a Saturday night date or whatever.

It is important to be open minded when you date a woman. If you invite her to dinner, then make this the focus of the evening. If this is your first date with her and later you do not believe a second is in the cards, then do not be disappointed. Enjoy the evening and the conversation for what they are and know that this is usually better than staying home alone.

When you find a person with whom you can relate and have a good time with, work on developing these characteristics of the budding relationship. It has been said that a person's largest sexual organ is the body's skin. I also believe that a person's body is strictly their persona; their true being is their brain. The body just lets each of us interact with the world around us. That said, it is better me thinks to develop a relationship with that part of the anatomy we will never see. When the time comes to make love, make love to the entire body not certain areas like earlobes, lips, cheeks, breasts, or genitalia.

The weekend is about here. Talk to the people you know about finding someone to date. Bury the self pitty and self lothing, and, all the other negativity, and develop a winning personality. If you do not know how--my recommendation in these situations is to simply act your way to success. An actor in a play/movie takes on the role and characteristics of the person he is portraying. Do the same and before you know it you will develop into becoming that individual. You will be learning new skills and adopting new behaviors so do not think this will be easy or quick. These things take time, yet you will begin to see positive results with each smile and eye contact no matter how brief the encounter. When you converse with others, if you have a pleasant voice and mannerisms, then people will be interested in sticking around for more.

What? Cat got your tongue? Not to worry. The key to conversing with most women is in understanding that by their very nature they are chatty creatures. Ask a leading question and then just stand back and let them speak! All you have to do is listen, take mental notes, and interject a question or thought from time to time. When it is your time to discuss you, do not tell everything about you all at once. Keep them wanting to know more and by doing so, you will have material for your next few conversations.

Now, get out there and get busy. Got questions?