[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by sarah_rsl

There's a lot of pretty good information in the stickies, and then you get people like brandye and dancingdoc posting respones that obviously have taken a bit of effort I really don't know why they bother. You can contrast them with the the barely literate morons mashing their fist into their keyboard trying to relate some nonsense that's probably based on a porno.

Thank you for the kudos. Please include EEK and Demonbuttercup, as regulars, also.

I do not "bother" to reply. I've been contributing to this and a couple of other sites before coming here for several years. Often one of us is able to reply first to a new thread before others in the community add their comments. When this happens there is no hint at what direction the thread will take. We answer questions honestly and to the best of our abilities. In this vain there is no problem. The key is to take each question and concern as it comes and not let the possible tone of other threads interfere.

Even if one of us is not the first to reply, we can still provide needed information and insight. I am pleased and amazed at how often the information provided by the four of us and Sera300 when she was active compliments each of the others. Those of us around the world who are regular contributors make this site the outstanding resource it is. More often than not our opinions and ideas compliment one another for the greater good. Not only does the o/p benefit, so too do all the people reading the thread over his/her shoulder so to speak.

I for one put forth the effort because I take each question on its own merit and do not let the activities taking place on other threads or forums contaminate the one I am focused upon.** Waiters, waitresses, salesmen and -women, and professionals who work with the public and who are worth their salt do not let disappointments and upsets reflect on their interaction with new customers or clients. As soon as a bothersome customer turns away, or you turn to work with a new person, you should be all smiles, not letting the upsets with a previous customer/client taint the new encounter. Our newest customer deserves no less and could care less about how rotten a day you've had or what just happened with someone else that irked you

The three moderators do their work behind the scenes and handle problems or problem posters out of public view. Everyone can help by reporting problem postings and SPAM. This site is mostly self-policing and this seems to work well overall.

My recommendation to all is that if and when you become exasperated by the comments posted in one or more threads is to--
a) focus in on the o/p and isolate it
b) address your comments to the o/p
c) do not let irrelevant or off topic responses get in the way of helping the o/p
d) call the offending member of the community on his/her response and offer a correction
e) report the individual if he or she continues to post stupid, insensitive, irrelevant, "advice". You can also communicate with the individual via p/m and let them know that their behavior is not appreciated and why.

These replies do seem to go in spurts and are mostly uploaded by teens who either do not yet have the insight and life experience to post meaningful advice, or, they simply like seeing their name in print, thus commenting foolish and idiotic drivel. These individuals either get with the program or soon go away. This is when you focus on the o/p and this person's concerns instead of the problem posters.

Whenever a person deals with the public there are going to be exasperating encounters from time to time. Expect that this will happen and work around them and do not let your immediate mood influence what you want to accomplish for someone else.

**I continue to contribute because I enjoy helping others who are coming up through the ranks. I remember all too well wondering about and being concerned about all manner of things from how sex works to how relationships work and what it was that went wrong and why. I began reading books and accumulating the knowledge of others in order to improve my relationships. Now that I have acquired the information, why not share it so that others will have an easier time growing up and handling matters of importance to them? This is what we call "paying it forward". I do it here and with my classes, and with a paying avocation. Just focus one on one with the o/p and his/her concerns.