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Agreed! The question seems to be centered on "his desires" and how can he get her to 'go along' with "his ideas".
My question is: does she like her ankles licked? If you don't know the answer, you have some work to do. Get to know what your wife likes beyond all others. She likes her regular sex date because she can anticipate and relish the thought of the upcoming fun , or prepare for the next assault - as it were - but which?
The fact that she doesn't do the odd spontaneous romp with you means she's NOT INTO whatever it is you are currently doing. Oh yes, she'll play the game and make nice noises and so on - but mentally, she's not there.
What you do is forget spontaneity and just do The Program and heavy on the body worship. Explore her and discover what she REALLY enjoys not because she says so but because doing that right there like that turns her into a raging tigress hell bent upon jumping your bones.
Every so often - it pays to get 'reacquainted' with your wife/husband.
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