[Pill]

My girlfriend and I have tried to have sex, but she is suffering from what she thinks is primary vaginismus, and I concur. When we try to have penetrative intercourse, she feels a sudden and involuntary clenching, and any further attempts at penetration are painful and fruitless. I suspect this is most likely due to the fact that she has had relatively little experience with her own sexuality in her life so far (she is in her early twenties). Before we began trying to have sex, she told me that she was afraid that it might hurt, and although she later decided that she wanted to have sex, I suspect her fears are still with her and may be causing this problem. I also get the impression that she has a somewhat negative internal attitude towards sex in general. (feelings of being dirty, used, genital shame, feeling generally uncomfortable)

Furthermore, she has some difficulty becoming sufficiently aroused. Ever after prolonged (45 min. +) foreplay, she often is not sufficiently lubricated to make even self-stimulation comfortable (although aroused). (we tried lube a while ago and it didn't really help much, she still wasn't aroused enough for stimulation to be comfortable) She has not been able to orgasm either with me (oral/manual stimulation & frottage) or by herself.

My questions, particularly for those who have some medical know-how, are these:
How likely is vaginismus to be overcome by waiting to become more comfortable with each other?
How helpful might muscle relaxants (GABA agonists, specifically) be in treating vaginismus?
What ideas, besides perseverance, can you recommend for helping her to achieve orgasm through masturbation?

Any other advice you can offer is of course welcome.

~Pill