Quote:
Originally Posted by edm
Why not use your writing abilities and write her a letter besides everything else you are doing.
Writing gives you a better chance to express your feelings, your thoughts, your fears, your memories and it gives her a chance to read, re-read, re-read and think, and think. Usually when we hear something, we react. When we read, we have the chance, if we want to, to read again and think.
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That is a great idea. I'll keep it in reserve, for if all else fails. Mind you, we do have some friends, who have now split up, who did something similar. The wife complained to the husband for years about certain aspects of his behaviour that she felt were causing their increasing disenchantment with each other. Since nothing changed, she wrote him a letter, detailing how she felt. Shortly afterwards, they went their separate ways. When the husband told me about this, I asked how he had reacted to the letter. "Oh, I threw it on the fire", he said.
I'm not at all sure how my wife would react to a letter from me; but I think I would need a stiff drink before daring to mail it. I remember meeting a lovely bloke once who seemed on the surface the epitome of forwardness. As we got talking he said he was in love with this wonderful girl but he just couldn't summon up the nerve to tell her. So, he had placed a personal ad in a newspaper, pouring out his heart there, instead. The problem was, he couldn't bring himself to buy the newspaper, hand it to her, and direct her attention to the relevant portion.
You're so right, though. When we talk about oral sex, there's a hidden edge to our words that's impossible to disguise, to which we can't help but react: we're usually squaring up to each other, the moment we start; and it's downhill from then on.