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Why not use your writing abilities and write her a letter besides everything else you are doing.
Writing gives you a better chance to express your feelings, your thoughts, your fears, your memories and it gives her a chance to read, re-read, re-read and think, and think. Usually when we hear something, we react. When we read, we have the chance, if we want to, to read again and think.
You, better than anybody else, know what will work and not work with your wife. I am just giving you ideas that I would try. Thank God, I do not have that problem. My wife and I enjoy oral sex all the time.
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