[EvilEvilKitten]

That is a difficulty. You will have to speak frankly with your regular doctor and name names.

But it seems to me that you should get up on your back legs and speak frankly with your wife, whether she wishes to hear it or not. You do NOT want "insert tab a into slot b" sex. You want that conflagration of souls sex that is a glorious reaffirmation of life and you are NOT going to settle for less.

Ask her to remember how it once was and then ask her to visualize a bleak lifetime without. Sex can be better than ever now. There's huge chasm of fear in her mind and now it is time for Her Big Bad Husband to wrap her up in his arms and help the lady out. See the sticky post entitled The Program. See what you two can do with that.