[Brandye]

In the first "scientific studies" of sexual behaviour by Alfred Kinsey on the 1940s, slightly less than half of married couples were found to engage in oral sex. Tracking studies showed a steady increase and the last I am aware of in the 1990s placed that figure near to three-quarters. So, dlb, the majority now do engage in oral sex. Given the apparent explosion of oral sex among teens, I suspect it will become nearly as common as vaginal sex in a decade or so. But, these are sociological facts and do not help that individual with a wife who has closed down.

Bouledoux, I do not know what to recommend to you. For full disclosure I will say I love receiving cunnilingus and I love performing it. I enjoy performing fellatio because of the pleasure it gives a partner and the vicarious pleasure that gives to me. I can understand your missing the cunnilingus more than the fellatio but, in the modern age, I believe that fellatio should be in every woman's bag of tricks. And, I know that without cunnilingus, I would have many fewer orgasms.

Somewhere your wife has "learned" that oral-genital contact is dirty or nasty or inappropriate or whatever. Unlearning that will not come from you. That is why I recommend another therapist who can deal with taboos, phobias and the like.

As for your fantasies of what oral sex would be like with the women you observe, there is still about one chance in four that they would not participate even if you did get close to them.