[Brandye]

I agree with the therapist that you need to sort this out or there will more damage to the marriage. I cannot, however, imagine a therapist essentially firing you as clients. You could ask her for a recommendation to another therapist or try to find one on your own.

We each have limits and these must be respected - or worked around somehow. Your wife developing new limits over the years, that is stopping what she had been doing, is not as clear as starting with limits established. Many women do find oral sex unacceptable and I'll vouch for the bad taste. There is certainly nothing about it that will cause her to grow hairs on her chin. Menopause may, but nothing that comes out of a friendly penis.

Most prostitutes will tell you that oral sex is their most requested trick and some will tell you that wives who refuse are what keeps them in business. A therapist willing to delve deeper into her resistance may well be the answer, even if not a sex therapist as such. I see not apparent alternative because you are not likely to go forever without a good blow job.

Would she do it with a condom? That is a non-lubed poly condom; the lube is nasty and latex tastes bad as well.